There are so many things I could tell her to make her believe that I could truly hurt her. There are so many things lurking in my past, threatening to pop up with someone's arrival or a nightmare or an item showing up that trigger memories that bring up what I've done and what I might do.
But, she's not done telling me what's happened to her so I keep quiet, listen. Every new piece of information, I file away to perhaps ask about later, to offer help with or to commiserate with when times or tough. She's experienced a few things I haven't but overall, the horrible things in her life do rival mine for just how bad they've been.
My legs suddenly feel weak so I move again, dropping down beside her. I'm sitting closer now, within arms reach and I toss my phone down on the cushion next to me. I still haven't ordered food. My stomach is the last thing on my mind right now.
I lick my lips and gather myself a bit before doing anything. When I do move, it's not speak but to reach out and curve a hand against her cheek, feeling the soft wisps of her hair tickle my fingertips. I turn her face a bit towards mine and spend a few more moments just looking before I lean forward and press a kiss against her forehead.
When I pull back, I stay close, keep touching her. "My mother was the one to poison me. She pretty much killed me. There's no cure for the nightweed still in my blood. I don't know how the healers here have managed to keep me alive. But, that poison made me weak. I couldn't save Darin or Tas when we were all in Kauf. I'd gone there with that purpose, to try and get them out but I couldn't. The Warden was too -- "
My words sound jerky and strained so I take another deep breath to stabilize. "I care about you. I like you. I'm terrified of hurting you. I know what you've said, I've listened. I still worry."
no subject
But, she's not done telling me what's happened to her so I keep quiet, listen. Every new piece of information, I file away to perhaps ask about later, to offer help with or to commiserate with when times or tough. She's experienced a few things I haven't but overall, the horrible things in her life do rival mine for just how bad they've been.
My legs suddenly feel weak so I move again, dropping down beside her. I'm sitting closer now, within arms reach and I toss my phone down on the cushion next to me. I still haven't ordered food. My stomach is the last thing on my mind right now.
I lick my lips and gather myself a bit before doing anything. When I do move, it's not speak but to reach out and curve a hand against her cheek, feeling the soft wisps of her hair tickle my fingertips. I turn her face a bit towards mine and spend a few more moments just looking before I lean forward and press a kiss against her forehead.
When I pull back, I stay close, keep touching her. "My mother was the one to poison me. She pretty much killed me. There's no cure for the nightweed still in my blood. I don't know how the healers here have managed to keep me alive. But, that poison made me weak. I couldn't save Darin or Tas when we were all in Kauf. I'd gone there with that purpose, to try and get them out but I couldn't. The Warden was too -- "
My words sound jerky and strained so I take another deep breath to stabilize. "I care about you. I like you. I'm terrified of hurting you. I know what you've said, I've listened. I still worry."